The Denigration of Traditional Motherhood

In our culture, there is a negative stigma that has developed towards women who decide to be stay at home mothers. Some attacks against homemakers are that they do not live a fulfilling life, that their work is mindless and lacking in any real engaging intellectual activity or that they are trapped and held back. I am going to discuss the falsehood behind each one of these attacks. 

Myth #1 Homemakers do not live a fulfilling life

I myself am not yet a mother but I have met many mothers who feel that their lives are very fulfilling. They experience great joy from their children. They find purpose in teaching, raising and loving their children. They view motherhood as a great responsibility and wonderful gift to be able to create and bring life into the world. They feel that they must constantly improve themselves and learn so that they can better raise their children. I would imagine that motherhood would bring a similar type of fulfillment as being a school teacher or any other occupation that helps better and improve the lives of others. Except I would think that motherhood would bring a much greater fulfillment because they are your own children that you love more than anything in the world. A parent has greater influence over their children then any other person alive. They can use that influence to help their children rise to their potential, excel and to be successful in all aspects of life or their neglect and poor parenting can lead to damaging emotional, academic and social problems. To believe motherhood is unimportant is to also believe that raising the future generation of doctors, professors, scientists, politicians and leaders is also unimportant. Being a mother is no insignificant job. Motherhood can bring some of the greatest joys and fulfillment to a woman who is able to watch as her powerful influence helps her kids to learn, grow and succeed in life.

Myth #2 A Homemaker’s work is mindless and lacking in any real engaging intellectual activity

Some extreme feminists argue that being a mother means you are giving up any chance of growing intellectually. I find this belief to be quite silly. Do they really believe that learning and stimulating activities can ONLY occur outside of the home? Do they really believe that intellectually stimulating activity can ONLY be acquired by having a career? A mother can be at home and still learn and expand her knowledge through reading books, keeping updated on current events, watching certain TV programs, or using internet sources. A mother is not a prisoner to her home. She can find a babysitter, family member or neighbor to watch her kids while she gets outside of the house to attend community classes, book clubs, college courses, or to volunteer. It is nonsense to believe that one can only have a fulfilling life by having a career or that one can only gain knowledge by having a career. There are many fulfilling things in this life that bring accomplishment and joy. Let’s not limit that to only having a career. And let’s not limit ourselves by believing there is only ONE way to gain knowledge, experience, growth and intellectual development. 

Myth #3 Homemakers are trapped or held back

In order to hold this belief that mothers are trapped or held back, one must also believe that motherhood is not fulfilling or that by being a mother one cannot reach her full potential. I personally do not hold either of those beliefs and I have already expounded on how being a mother can bring great fulfillment and purpose. I also have touched on how being a mother does not prevent a woman from being able to learn and to reach her fullest intellectual, emotional or physical potentials. Being a mother takes up time and energy as does any other occupation but this does not some how limit a woman’s ability to learn, grow and become the greatest version of her self. In many ways I would argue that being a mother would actually help a woman to become her greatest self. She must learn patience, love, compassion, empathy, selflessness and service. She must continually challenge her ability to adjust as her children grow and require different parenting techniques. She must be knowledgeable and aware of her child’s developmental growth so that she may be understanding of their physical, emotional and intellectual needs. She must stay updated and involved with the community and current events so that she can defend and stand for what she believes is right and best for herself and her family.

No, being a good mother is no mindless job. It is a job that requires enormous amounts of character, intelligence, and love. Having a career is not the only way a woman can find fulfillment. In many ways being a mother brings great happiness, fulfillment and purpose that a career woman could never know.  

I am so thankful for my mother who gave so much for me to be happy. I am thankful for her patience, her teaching, and her constant love. I am lucky to have had such a wonderful example and mother like her in my life. Thank you mom.